Maybe Google Is a Source of Evil

Also Titled: Crackpots Shouldn't Be Allowed to File Court Cases

"In September, Jayne submitted a handwritten complaint that Google was actively attempting to put his identity at risk and expose him to danger. How? "I, Dylan Stephen Jayne, plaintiff, has [sic] a Social Security number that when the Social Security number is turned upside down in its entirety it is a scrambled code that does spell the name Google®," Jayne wrote. "A person regardless of race or religion that wishes to cause acts of terrorism would look for social security numbers that are made readily available on the public use databases."

Jayne asked the court to declare that Google and its founders conspired to violate his constitutional rights, award him $5 billion in damages (the first check of which could be in the amount of $250 million, he said), issue a gag order on all parties involved, seal the record from the public, and deny all avenues for appeal. Unfortunately for Jayne, Pennsylvania District Judge James Munley didn't think the case had any basis in reality (at least not the reality all of us inhabit). The judge dismissed the suit just nine days after it was filed, saying that Jayne failed to state a claim on which relief could be granted."

I like how the plaintiff came up with $5 billion and then said they could pay him on an installment plan. Also, why did it take nine days to dismiss?

Obviously, the people at Google got to this judge... Excuse me while I go crush some more tinfoil around my ears and pull out the CIA transceivers in my eye teeth...

No comments: