2009-03-30

Chrysler CEO: "Fuck It, We're Doing Hover Cars"

Detroit (AP) -- Chrysler Chief Executive Robert Nardelli stated, responding to a question about what Chrysler would do with any government stimulus money, replied "Yeah, fuck it, we're doing hover cars."

"We've had the technology since the '60's," said Nardelli, "but we've been sitting on it. Back then we had a group of NASA engineers who worked out how to build hover cars but we thought it would cut into the sales of the LeBaron. And there were some logistical problems with flight paths and parking, so we put the plans under some books, locked it in a safe in the basement and tried to forget about them. But now, man, we are circling the drain, so we've decided to go with the hover cars."

"Yeah, hover cars," Nardelli responded to a question from an incredulous reporter. "You ever see the Jetsons? Back to the Future 2? These cars levitate above the ground and you can fly them all over. Ioacca had a proto-type built for his kids in the early 80's, but he crashed one night after a Labor Day BBQ."

When asked how this would impact Chrysler's economic status, Nardelli replied, "Couldn't hurt, could it?"

Nardelli said Chrysler would start production the first hover car as soon as the combination to the lock on the safe could be found.

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